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| ... my dream starts out like this: i'm on my knees sitting up - with a pistol being held to my head by someone else. i don't see the rest of the room at all. i only see the guys arm and his hand and gun. the rest of the room is just blackness. i see other people to the left and right, but i only see them and just barely, because i'm not allowed to look either way. at one point i am deciding on whether or not to be a hero and try and take the gun while he's not looking or talking to someone else. I decide to take the gun. He started talking to someone else and looked that way and so I reached up and grabbed the gun by the barrel and tried to point it away from me and take it. He held onto it and got it out of my hands. He pointed the gun at my head and mentally I didn't think he would shoot me so I decided on something to say to persuade him not to kill me. A split second later he shot me, without hesitating. His shot was a little off and hit me on the left side of my head (his right) and I stayed alive for about 12 seconds or so. As soon as he shot me I went blind, but I could still hear and move somewhat, though i became too weak to move within 4 seconds or so and my hearing faded almost as fast. I realized I was dieing and dieing quickly so I started to ask the Lord for forgiveness. As soon as I died (in the dream) I woke up saying the same thing I was about to say in my dream. | | |
| I hung out at a brother's house tonight. All was well for a while and then it seemed like everything went downhill - for everyone. Everyone had their own problems, disappointments, heavy minds, fights, etc etc., and I don't mean petty issues. I mean point-of-view-of-the-world changing problems.We still pulled together and had a great time. It was interesting how everyone handles their problems. I think sometimes I need to be more vocal about my problems, but I'm just too proud for that. It's hard to do and I don't like being vulnerable. | | |
| there's a certain low or high you have to achieve to make great art.
i believe i've hit that low. look out for me, i'm bound to get big. | | |
| I went home for a whole damn week and a day and it sucked more than anything in the world except for the fact that I got to see my best friend from back home and also the love of my life Natalie. woot woot. Other than that it was a sack of balls being kicked. I'm back in Tahlequah now (yay) so everything is going I guess. I swear in to the military some time next week and leave May 16-18. Damn goverment. OUT. | | |
| in mcelhany's life not much is going on; a lot of waiting.
well, actually, if i think about it in the context of a normal person's life, i'm doing a lot.
i'm always on the go, i get very little sleep, i drink lots, eat little, fight very little - but still fight lol, ...... it's a good life.
fuck you to every self-absorbed disrespectful person out there. fuck you to every twenty-year old who acts like a sophomore in high school still. fuck you to anyone who doesn't know me but then acts like they're better. - i don't like myself sometimes, if that makes any sense.
;) | | |
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